Awake Again:

Man I promise I love Chicago, IL and all it's inhabitants: native born and migrants. Every phone call and text message I receive from the area saves my life!!! I'm soo appreciative that such great people love me. I'm soo fortunate to be thought of and loved by you.

To be or not to be in the place to be
is it truth
or is it deceit
see
I was blind but now I see
blinded by the color lines
the black belt pavement,
the white lines which divide them
and the blizzards
when all you can see
all you can see is grey
then white
be it sugar, semen or snow
and when the sun shines your blind
til it thaws
by the time you thaw your freezing again
wondering
when it will ever end
before you've even begin...

(PAUSE)

That was me. Angry and unappreciative and deemed a "fortune baby". All I saw was what I did not have, instead seeing all the persons, places and feelings I did have. The moments, the little things, all that which now defines is behind me so that I may claim the bright future I dream of. My true inheritance lies in the people. The people who stand by me as I strive in this life to stand for others. I'm all thawed out in these sunny streets of Inglewood, California. And here I may not ever freeze again, cuz the lowest it gets here is what 40 degrees. PLEASE?!?! The only folks who can tell me about cold is Alaskans, but that's a side note.

(PLAY)

Begin:
Begin at the scene of the crime
where July 20, 1988
led to the birth of April 21, 1989
and my crime was not being born
but having chosen to
in a time
 and a place beyond my own
paving a way of forgotten truths
and I felt alone...
Always alone,
my mother alone,
my grandmother alone,
my father gone
not lost
always found
ten years later turned the playing field all around
and I'm here now
as I was then
born of his determination
and unto him I am born again
and this time I see.
I see everything...
and I'm happy because not only do I have me
but I have everybody

(PAUSE)

And I hear Shari's voice from the other end of the phone echoing Chicago in her Seattle style saying "You're Bajá, Everybody loves you, be you!" And she saves my life for the millionth time. And the phone rings with another fulfilled promise of a good friend at the other end and he speaks of me as GOLD. He told me I was GOLD!!! So what the fuck do I see. I know I don't have 20/20 vision but my perception continues to deceive me. All these long distance phone calls I receive with tones that echo my hometown - Chi-town and I get rave reviews on how I'm viewed. And I gotta say at 4'9.5", I'm low to the ground to show everyday how much I appreciate each and everyone of you who love me! Lil ole me?! Friends and family. You give me peace. You give inspiration. But most importantly, you give me...me! And for that I'm forever indebted to you and I will strive to make me happy because in my heart me is we, I is us and happiness in this life and the next for all people in my mind, body and soul is a must.

(PLAY)

So I gotta be happy,
I must be happy
because in each individual spirit
I love and adore
I strive more and more
and more and more
and more and more
til there is no end of light in store.
-Bajá Marie