"The Elements"

In the SGI-USA Lay Buddhist Organization, if you were born into the practice they call you a "Fortune Baby". I can say that I am that because at 24 years old my mother chanted all while I was in the womb worried about what she was gonna do with me! lol

Her daimoku wasn't in vain. (daimoku is plural for chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo). I turned out to be a damn good woman and truly fortunate indeed.

I was the daddy's girl to a man that wanted a sun (or to you folks SON). My daddy taught me to box, wrestle, play basketball and drink beer at a young age. LOL! It wasn't until he left in '99' that my mother reminded me of my duties as a lady. She was too late though, they were already alien to me.

I was the daughter to a woman that walked the fine line between mother and father roles as a single parent. She focused more in being the father because she knew I was a daddy's girl and wanted me to love her the same. Little did she know, I loved her for Renée, but she'll see that one day.

I was the "baby daddy" to this same woman. At age 12, she finally got the child she wanted as well - A Sun. Cus of the whole mam's boy thing, you know boys are closer to their mothers blah, blah. (rolling my eyes cuz ya'll just DON'T KNOW how much I love the mother I chose) Little did she know she had already raised one. And since my brother's biological father was an escapist it was only right that I take his place and be the father.

I share all this with you to show that I am no ordinary woman. There is alot of masculine energy within me. And that doesn't make me a lesbian by any means. But it does make me a sun. They say women are moons, but I am not. I am a sun, which makes me free.

Because of this I struggled with having girlfriends because truly I wasn't girly! So all the girl-friends I have matched my masculinity in their own styles and forms. My most recent discovery are my 3 friends: Shari, Angela and Lisa. We call ourselves the Four Elements, Shari is Earth, Angela is Fire, Lisa is Water and I am Air. These women are my mirrors. They help me embrace the masculine woman that is me. The woman that intimidates, challenges and progresses; instead of this makeshift woman I have recently become: submissive, passive-aggressive, destructive, more flesh and less spirit. I want to get back to me. To fall deeply in love with me. But in order to do that, I must first see, And my sisterhood with these 3 women helps me.

In high school I dreamed of being in a sisterhood. My freshman year of college I attended a Delta Sigma Theta Rush hopeful to fulfill this dream. But as a college student with 2 jobs paying rent, phone bill, gas bill, light bill, car insurance, gas, plus whatever financial support my mother, brother and grandmother could use I could not afford the $875 initation fee that they asked for. So I walked away from that dream. And in that same year I attended the Deeply Rooted Dance Theatre Summer Intensive where my friendship with Shari and Angie were sealed. Lisa was an added bonus. A theatre major I didn't run into her on campus as I had Shari and Angie (whom are both dopalicious dancers). NOOO Lisa was Shari's roommate all 4 years of college and Shari wasn't leaving home without her and I see why. She's madd fly! Lisa became my first shakabuku this year (shakabuku is the term we use for someone we introduce to the Buddhist fatih) and since then she has helped me stay inspired to continue my Buddhist practice and keep faith.

I'm truly fortunate because these women made my dreams come true. I have many other sisters, whom have contributed their reflections to my life as well. But I give it up to these three because unlike the rest they stuck to me. Everybody else I tend to stick to. My philosophy: "You stick to me, I stick to you. That's a bond more powerful than super glue. But if I'm the only one stuck to you then it's just glue." I know a weird saying but it makes sense in my free-flowing thought processing center, i.e. my brain. But blah blah blah anyways here's the piece I wrote for them entitled "The Elements"

My body is a divine temple
meant to cleanse sins
and bring wisdem
to dem
the tens,
the mill-yens
the hun-dreads
the thou-sins
of women,
children and
Men!

My body is a divine temple
My mind is the house of the soul
My heart is the dwelling place of the spiritual
My belly the processing center of energies
My hips are the ships
that pave the way to the middle passage
My thighs grips the waves of his rise
brings them down to a ripple
and instead holds him close
sending positive energy to ressurect his Most
High!
It's the fire in my eyes
The water in my hands
The earth in my feet
And you hold the key to my eternity
There is only one you for me
and that's You!, ME.
-Bajá Marie

Thank you for your eyes, your smile, your energy and your style. I appreciate you in all that you do. I love you, I really do. Peace and Fortune to you!